Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
