Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
