I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
There's even glitter on my cock...
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