yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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