you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
