she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
