i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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