I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
