U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
