you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
