she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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