these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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