you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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