Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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