Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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