Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
