Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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