it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
