Betty ford says i'm here all night
and she was petting her beer can
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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