in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
