And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
