My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
