Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
