He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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