Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
