Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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