I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
