The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
