I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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