She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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