Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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