ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
someone owes me an orgasm
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
