Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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