It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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