Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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