My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize