toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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