so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
