pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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