I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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