Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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