dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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