One girl and one boy is just not enough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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