Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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