She's JV to your varsity
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
