"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
