There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
