Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
