Can i not drive my cunt home
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
