check it out our google latitudes are spooning
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So much Jack, so little girl.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
