I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
tell me about the eggs
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
