Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
