And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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