ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't think brook has ever known best
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
