consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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