How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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