No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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