Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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