I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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