I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Randomize
