I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
