I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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