i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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